Aunty Vicky or Mummy Ngozi as she is sometimes called, is my Mother and one woman I consider to be a Wonder Woman.
This is a daughters celebration of her mothers ingenuity, while coming to the realization of everyone’s special faculty.
My mother is the best storyteller I have ever encountered. She told stories from the bible, narrated tales about the Biafra war, shared her life experiences and sang the psalms to her children. All these formed a good part of my childhood memories.
She also had rich life experiences, from the south-south to south-east to west. Little wonder she converses in several languages. It was from her I first fell in love with the French language, not minding that hers was a basic knowledge.
One of her stories about the Biafra war involved my late Uncle-a soldier (God rest him). It goes thus, “One day during the war, Uncle lay hidden between enemies lines. As he lay quiet, a huge snake (Eke) started to swallow him, but in one stroke he brought out his knife and cut it in two”. Several nights afterwards, I would lay down and ponder at such a remarkable story.
Hers is a legacy of rich stories, Godly upbringing of her children, tenacity, hard work and countless sacrifices. After I had grown past the age of rebellion and become an adult myself, I understood the beauty of family and began to appreciate the genius I have as a mother; who is still here for me/with me.
I now realize how sad it is that, we take for granted the uniqueness of individuals we have among us; in the form of family, friends and colleagues. We forget to appreciate their distinctive presence in our lives. Because often, their special qualities are masked by familiar.
All in all, when we pay close attention, we realize that nobody does it quite like another. Therein, lies our superpower.
This is what appreciating a wonder woman (human) -Mummy Ngozi, taught me.
Sometime in January, I was reminded of the scum in us. Not necessarily because my life had been devoid of human deviousness, but that experience was unique.
That sombre day, I sat facing my accuser-a supposed friend who accused me of some falsehood. It was a set-up of some sort, in retaliation for a “No” spoken in good conscience. Even then, I felt It was an error. So I tried to dialogue and point out the absurdity of such words and maybe action (well, I now understand not to dialogue with the devil, but wage war instead).
But then the tears came. First in tiny droplets, then in mighty hailstones; leading to a feeling of total helplessness.
Back to my story.
So this fiend continued to prey on my susceptibility, with words and threat, until my sister arrived and in one sentence called him bluff, and scattered the whole scheme. As we started to leave, I got a grip on myself; my control returned and I laughed. How couldn’t I see though the ploy all along, I thought.
Anyway, that event taught me to be patient with otherwise logical, sensible adults, who at some point seem not to be reasoning alright.
A “friend”proved himself a scum and I have encountered women who project the notion that men are scum. Yet, with no intention of being the devil’s advocate, I think:
Men are not scum
yet humans (male or female) can be scum
we choose our paths.
And if you have ever encountered women that are scum
hold your peace, I am not every woman
and you don’t have to be every man.
Let life lessons teach you, not harden you.
When I encounter a vile human, I hope to stand my ground. But if I break into a torrent of tears instead, I pray you come save me.
As I punch this keyboard, It is my wish it doesn’t draw blood, but do understand that retribution and reward awaits all action of ours.
I would love to read your thoughts and experiences regarding “men are scum” or just the scum issue.
You may wonder if there is an art to taking the cloth off your body, peeling the touch of an ex-lover off your skin, removing the weight of the world from your shoulders and silencing the voice of the nay-Sayers; all in a bid to reveal your glorious self to the world.
It depends on who you ask.
From a model’s perspective, I would say yes. There is a method to undressing and dressing up between runways, fashions shows, shoot and the likes; fast, efficient and carefully.
From the perspective of a writer, yes too. There is an art to sieving opinions and words in your head. Ensuring that only the good stays inside of you, while pruning the harmful thoughts and letting go of all that already let go of you.
From the perspective of a life learner, which we probably all are; I have learnt that there is indeed a tactic to undressing, whether opening up to a perfect stranger or dearly loved one.
Maybe stark naked (living little to imagination about your life),
semi-clad (giving some details about your life, while withholding others) or
fully clothed (no display picture even, on social media).
The time will come when you may need to undress, to go out there and showcase your craft, because you were not created for yourself alone. Hence the need for intentional self-revelation. And when you stand wondering in the corridor of self doubt, do understand that you will be fine in the end. Because the perfection portrayed by others is often an illusion. For we are all flawed humans trying to flourish despite it.
This intentional self-revelation that enables you cast off the yoke of self-doubt, venomous opinions and fear, is like undressing and should be mastered.
Finally, whether you choose to undress or remain clothed, just endeavor to live your best life truly.
It is okay to undress every once in a while,
To Live free and express your truth. Let the world get a dose of your awesomeness.
P.S. I would love to read your thoughts in the comment section, and don’t forget to subscribe.
They tell you again and again how to wear your flaws, how to hide or live with your imperfections.
Do they also remind you again and again how to wear your strength gloriously, do you think they feel threatened by it?
So, you end up dwelling on all your inadequacies and short comings. As if it is the flaws that makes a man, as if the shortcoming is all there is to a human.
They forget to tell you how to carry your strength; gracefully like an eagle basking in the sky’s glory or like a lion taking pride in the vastness of the jungle.
Your weaknesses and strengths may lie side by side, but if you dwell so much on your strength it overshadows other failings. In the same vain, if you focus on the flaws, it begins to overshadow other marvelous things you are capable of.
They talk about your broad nose, how about how it compliments your glorious eyes.
They focus on your mismatched teeth, how about it brings to life the uniqueness of your bright smile, lightening the room each time.
Remember the rose and its thorn,
the coconut and its shell,
the palm kernel and its stalk,
the ivy and its poison,
And countless examples of strengths and weaknesses, beauty and pain, lying side by side. See what happens when we focus on the good.
In the same vain, you must embrace your flaws but also your strengths proudly and unabashedly; no more shrinking.
If you know how to do a thing, do it well. Let the world know, and Accept the attendant applause graciously.
Because if they tell you how to wear your flaws, I tell you – wear you strength even more so.
The one who made the thorns also made the roses, go on then and be the light of the world notwithstanding.
I don’t believe you are only made of imperfections. Strength, beauty and perfection also lies therein, which would you water more?
So, do not diminish your light
But be totally unabashed about it.
Time to look the world in the eyes
and prove your mettle.
If you “got it” baby, better flaunt it.
You have a better opinion or even a contrary one? let me know in the comment section. Don’t forget to share.